Guilt often seems to be the thing we’re talking about when we say work life balance
When we are at home we should be at work when at work we should be at home and that’s without considering fitness and friends.
Sometimes it seems like a pursuit of being good enough. Avoiding too much conflict or criticism.
Like we live to make other people happy.
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👉 You know what you want to achieve, and how to achieve it but you lack the particular skill required to achieve it.
😃 You know what you want to achieve but you are unclear on the ingredients required to produce the desired outcome.
🤷🏼♂️ You know exactly what to do and you are sometimes able to do it but you are unable to carry it out consistently enough to produce the desired outcome.
Usually it’s an overlap of these but objectively this is what’s happening.
It looks terrifyingly simple mapped out like this doesn’t it?
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The brain is a survival machine that creates survival mechanisms to protect itself.
Many of these protection mechanisms can inadvertently cause problems inside an organisation.
The leaders must master these 8 skills to not be taken over by these mechanisms.
That is in part, what it means to lead.
To own your own emotions and behaviours in response to what is happening around you.
Which of these 8 do you most need to place your attention on?
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Your success as a leader will be determined by how you deal with people.
It won’t be defined by your ideas, problem solving, charisma, or brilliance but by how people feel in your organisation.
Do they love working with you and for you. Do they feel valued, inspired, fairly treated, well supported?
This is not just about your current project but will echo into your future.
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Throw your mind back to when you first got together, you were the dream team. You loved spending time with each other. You shared values, beliefs and ideals and you were going to change the world while constructing a utopia together. Something like that anyway.
You had a mutual admiration for each other's skills and you strongly believed that together you could go further and faster than you could alone. You complemented each other in the best way imaginable.
The business that you were going to create was going to be fun and seamless, because you could almost end each other's sentences. You were so excited to get started because you knew how much fun it was going to be, and the incredible things that you could accomplish together.
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It all started with a dream. For some that dream began at 6 years old, for others it didn’t come until college. That entrepreneurial itch. They were going to create something amazing in the world. They were going to break free from the world that was trying to define them and discover who they really are. They were going to show the world what they can do when they have the freedom to invent themselves.
It’s what Steven Pressfield calls, the hero’s journey. It’s a journey filled often with hard work, struggle, and failure as well as a whole lot of fun, fulfilment and adventure.
Whether you’re building to sell or building for profit or BOTH suffering your way to success is a process that has a lot of victims. You SUFFER because when you’re living a life you loath you experience the EXACT life you didn’t want for yourself along with your health, energy, mood, and relationships all suffering.
Your loved ones suffer as they get the worse of you as they get the tail end of your energy, the worst of your mood, the guilt of your suffering for them and the least of your time. Even your colleagues and the business suffer as the energy, enthusiasm and inspiration required to both operate and sell a business can’t be faked for long.
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Who I don’t work with
Over the last 16 years of working 1-2-1 with clients I have learned who tends to get the best results from working with me and who I play with best.
Without any attempt to criticise I have identified 4 traits or characteristics that tend to prevent people from getting the best possible results from my programmes.
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There’s the peers path, this one seems safe and familiar. It’s full of the me too’s of shared experience. But often me too’s are of shared suffering of disconnected relationships, illness, back pain and what’s wrong with people who don’t think like us.
There’s the praise path, this path is often intoxicating as first we acted and got applause. Now we act for the applause and find ourselves pandering to it. It controls our choices and so direction. We are blown where ever the wind takes us and physically suffer, first only when the applause is silent then always as we see the difference between acceptance and entertainment.
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Would we see more clearly that not distributing the food evenly was not only wrong it was sabotaging the whole?
Would we see that deaths due to poor distribution of abundant resources like water, shelter, food, education, health care was not just barbaric but that fixing this problem today would transform the whole spaceship for the better with more minds, more travel, more innovation, more communication and more love?
Would we better understand that how we treat other people has ripple effects that set the tone for the whole crew?
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Christina made this off hand comment to me while were skiing in France over Christmas
We were having that, are you going to make any New Years resolution conversation.
It sort of means, what would make next year better than this year when you think about it and I like that.
I had decided that I wanted to start growing my business in Denmark rather than just the Uk and I was unsure how I wanted to do it.
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I could say what I want to say to my boss or my employees without fear of what they might think.
I could dance like nobody was watching and single like nobody is listening.
And a million other things.
Some even hold it up like a badge or a flag they climbed up a mountain to plant.
“ I don’t care what anyone thinks!”
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How much do you charge? It’s the instinctive first question, it’s also the least informative. Coach is their label, what they are to you is a problem solver or rather a solved problem(s) is the side effect you’re looking for.
Your job when selecting a coach of any sort is to ascertain if they can facilitate that.
I couldn’t imagine not doing those things, but it’s more than just doing them.
They were outpourings of who I am or even facts of the world. I can’t stress this detail enough. I literally saw them as like limbs. Extensions of myself. It was only perhaps in fleeting moments when I didn’t...
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Okay, first and foremost I am not making light here. I’m not suggesting that I am happy about what has happened. Neither am I suggesting that no businesses have fallen victim to the current or future side effects or what’s happening at the moment.
However, there were 5 things that were important before this that have now significantly increased in importance and that I believe is a good thing.
In fact they were ALWAYS the most important things but now and going forward their consequences will result in more rapid and undesirable feedback.
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